|Posted by Doug Jeffreys on July 9, 2013 at 4:05 PM||comments (0)|
This was originally one of those religious posts by a Facebook friend. I modified it so that it would be more realistic. (Modifications are in bold and italics).
Human: God, can I ask you a question?
Human: Promise you won't get mad
God: I promise
Human: Why did you let so much stuff happen to Human today?
God: What do you mean?
Human: Well, I woke up late
Human: My car took forever to start
Human: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
Human: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Human: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
FIRST: HOW THE THEOLOGISTS WOULD LIKE IT TO BE
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
NOW: HOW IT REALLY IS
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Human: Oh. I thought all the angels took their orders from you.
GOD: Well, I, I, . . . let’s move on. I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Human: So you allowed a man to not only get drunk, but operate a vehicle.
God: Look, it really isn’t, just forget that and move to point three. The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Human: Ah, so the cafeteria worker couldn’t afford to miss work either so you let them go to work knowing they could infect dozens of other people.
God: You know it’s really not that simple, let’s talk about the phone. Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Human (softly): I see God, so there is someone out there with a vendetta against me that will now plot something even more damaging.
God: You do really not understand any of this. Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Human: Actually I don’t mind the dark and I use that massager fairly often and would have found out about the ‘short’ anyway, and it would have been a simple matter to flip the breaker, turning the lights back on.
God: Don't be obstreperous, just learn to Trust me.... in all things, the Good & the bad.
Human: Sure I will.
God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Human: Oh yeah, you always have a plan.
Nurse: Doctor, he’s been sitting in the corner talking to himself again.
Doctor: Let’s increase his Thorazine, nurse. What a shame, no loving god would ever inflict his creations with schizophrenia.
|Posted by Doug Jeffreys on May 13, 2013 at 9:40 AM||comments (0)|
The letter of 05/08/13 "Delusion is gripping gun-rights zealots" was so far off, Nat Boscola should have been embarrassed to sign it. Since the Tribune-Democrat feels the need to not only limit any letter to 250 words, they also further edited my response to the gutless Nat Boscola in the name of “political Correctness”. Therefore I will post my rebuttal in its entirety, point by point. My responses appear under-lined and in bold type.
"Delusion is gripping gun-rights zealots"
Please stop with the paranoia – no one is trying to take your guns away.
Really? Every government that has wanted to ban guns has started with registration (including Great Britain). Allow me to provide the following quotes from Democrat politicians & pundits;
"If I could have banned them all - 'Mr. and Mrs. America turn in your guns' - I would have!"
- Diane Feinstein
"My view of guns is simple. I hate guns and I cannot imagine why anyone would want to own one. If I had my way, guns for sport would be registered, and all other guns would be banned."
- Deborah Prothrow-Stith (Dean of Harvard School of Public Health)
“Confiscation could be an option…mandatory sale to the state could be an option.”
When they changed laws pertaining to cigarettes, I never heard anyone say that government is trying to take their cigarettes away. When liquor laws were changed, no one ever said they were trying to take away their liquor.
Every month some state or federal body adds a new tax to tobacco so that eventually nobody can afford to smoke.
No one took away liquor? Ever heard of the 18th Amendment?
Millions of people are in favor of changing just a few gun laws that will make this country a safer place to live – safer for children and adults.
There are over 2,000 state and federal laws on the books governing the possession, sale and use of firearms in the United States. The city of Chicago has some of the strictest gun control laws in the country and one of the highest violent crime rates (including murder), but you think “changing just a few gun laws” will suddenly make the criminals see the light.
When Richard Nixon was in office, he was asked how he felt about guns. His reply was he thought guns were an abomination. That’s exactly how I feel.
So you admit that you are no different than a gutless, egotistical tyrant.
This may come as a surprise, but the majority of people in the United States don’t own guns.
This may come as a surprise to you; since most gun owners know that the government can’t be trusted they don’t tell the pollsters that they have them. The number is actually closer to 50%.
Ninety percent of people support background checks and the bill still didn’t pass. Less than 50 people were killed by guns in Australia last year, the same amount were killed in England last year. More than 12,000 people were killed by guns in the U.S. last year. How can anybody find that acceptable? We’re better than that.
If 90% of the population really wanted more background checks we would have them.
Australia's Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research acknowledges that the gun ban had no significant impact on the amount of gun-involved crime and all other violent crimes rose dramatically. According to the F.B.I. Uniform Crime Report, Year 1992 had an over-all violent crime rate 757.7 and a murder rate of 9.3 (all rates per 100,000). Year 2011 saw an over-all violent crime rate of 386.3 and a murder rate of 4.7 a reduction of 50% in twenty years while the number of guns grew. A comparison to the liberal promised land of Great Britain is difficult to make as they have a much different definition of "violent crime" which makes them appear to have a higher rate some five times greater than the U.S. But even when you make an educated adjustment the British violent crime rate is still double that of the United States. The fact remains; no matter if you're in the U.S., Australia or Great Britain, you are far more likely to be beat to death with fists or a bludgeon.
To change the subject, no matter how many President Obama-bashing letters appear in this forum, the fact remains that Obama will still be in the White House for 3 1⁄2 more years and Mitt Romney will still be the Republican challenger who lost by a landslide.
Once again you show your ignorance of the facts. Obama won the election by 3.5%. Hardly a landslide and as more facts of voter fraud come to light that tiny margin will continue to shrink. Next time your fear prompts you to spew your hatred and bigotry at least check your facts. Clearly Nat (and it doesn’t surprise me that your name is a homophone of gnat, the irritating, worthless pest) you would be better off to move to England. They are much closer to your liberal, socialist ideal.
|Posted by Doug Jeffreys on June 23, 2012 at 7:20 PM||comments (0)|
I know that nobody likes to be proved wrong, but anybody that voted for B.O. and still thinks it was the right choice is simply delusional. Barak Obama is the most disgusting scumbag to ever enter politics, and that’s saying something. He’s a sociopath and a pathological liar. One thing this dolt seems to forget is every lie he speaks is immediately filmed and saved to hundreds of thousands of sites on the internet where they can be used to illustrate his hypocrisy and evil. Below are several samples of B.O. caught in blatant lies and scheming to destroy the republic.
|Posted by Doug Jeffreys on February 12, 2012 at 1:40 PM||comments (0)|
Recently, a video http://www.litefm.com/pages/news-story.html?feed=421220&article=9738000, of a father dispensing justice to his spoiled daughter has gone viral on Facebook, YouTube and every other part of the internet. I found myself actually forced to defend this man’s actions on my friend’s Facebook page. My friend agreed with the dad in question, however some of his friends did not. I found this stunning as I thought dad was the model of restraint in this particular instance. I will list some of the negative posts below, (using only first names to protect the ill-informed) and then give my response.
“All learned behavior.”
“And her parents ...they need to sit down and talk with some ground rules.”
“I am not saying what the dad did is right, but it was a knee jerk reaction. Most men find it hard to see a teachable moment when they feel sucker punched by their own children. This was the second time it happened. Obviously he didn't emote his hurt the first time.”
“Parents are "supposed" to be the adults. By going public, just like his child did, this father is doing nothing to repair the relationship.”
“The dad just seems like a cocky jerk. Show some class. He looked like more of a fool than his daughter.”
The behavior displayed by the daughter is learned from equally spoiled peers not from such responsible parents. As the dad states in the video the “ground rules” had been laid out on more than one occasion in the past. This was not a knee jerk reaction. Obviously dad had taken a day to think about his daughter’s disrespectful post and mull over the previous incident, the punishment (grounding & loss of privileges) and the failure of said punishment. “Emote his hurt”? Are you kidding? It is that kind of namby-pamby, politically-correct nonsense that has bred an entire generation of The-world-owes-me-everything brats. This was not the first incident. Dad tried a less firm type of discipline which was made clear to the daughter and mom. Obviously it did not take. When criminals sneer at ‘community service’ the next logical step is to up the ante and toss their sorry butt in jail. By "going public" The father took the punishment to a venue his daughter would understand. That is, in fact, good parenting and it is not his job to be his daughter's friend. He did act as an adult in trying to teach his daughter a valuable lesson. And really Bretta, a cocky jerk? This man showed more class, restraint and common sense than I’ve seen in a long time. If this doesn't get through to the ungrateful brat, he should sell her to some Saudi goat herder. I never beat my kids. Nor did I ever feel compelled to shoot any of their possessions. I simply made clear to them (once they were at an age to reason) that they were responsible for their actions. Some hard lessons were learned along the way, and I have a very good relationship with my children and received many compliments on their excellent behavior over the years. Dad did the right thing. Kudos to him.
|Posted by Doug Jeffreys on February 3, 2012 at 11:35 PM||comments (0)|
I thought this would be an easy answer but I had to really think about it. I suppose it started when I was about twelve. I would draw may own Super Heroes and of course, once drawn, I needed stories for them, so I started making my own comic books. The art was lame. The writing, even worse. The tales of Archie, Veronica and friends were stories of Shakespearean complexity compared to my pathetic scribbling. Quite frankly I was far more interested in drawing at that time. Thus my scripts were of the most rudimentary sort; Hero sees criminals involved in felonious activity, hero beats up criminals, hero flies off into the sunset.
It wasn’t until my junior year of high school, in my Creative Writing class that I realized I actually enjoyed creating a written tale. I wrote a short, pulp style detective story that earned me a B+. I gave it to my friend’s girlfriend to type it for me so I could submit it to a magazine. Unfortunately for me (and fortunately for the literary world) she lost it. However, it was too late for the publishing industry, the seed had been planted. I continued to work on my comics, producing tales just slightly more complex than a classified ad for a garage sale. I was a voracious reader throughout my years in secondary school, starting of course, with the pulp serials of Robert E. Howard, Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Norman, etc. I still love the “Sword & Sorcery” genre but my tastes began to mature and I began to explore such authors as Eric Van Lustbader, Tom Clancy, Michael Crighton, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, and other authors that put actual science into their science fiction and/or techno-thrillers.
This had two very profound effects on me. First: My selection of literary material was greatly expanded. Second: I began to look for logical reasoning and realistic science in everything I read, as well as the television shows I watched, and the movies I saw. I’m sure you can see the problem. Most shows, movies and books don’t give a rat’s patoot about such mundane matters such as logic, common sense and the laws of physics. Most writers used a very popular method to move the plot along. Something I first heard described by Roger Ebert way back when he and Gene Siskel hosted their own show (where they would critique the latest films). I don’t remember the film but I clearly recall Roger refer to “The Rule of Idiots”, i.e. if it wasn’t for the idiots, you wouldn’t have a story. I saw this rule used time and again in books, television and movies and it would drive me crazy! It’s pure laziness on the part of the writer. Either that or all the screen writers and hack authors actually are that stupid (or they think we are)!
More times than I can recall, I would put down the book or leave the theater thinking, “Even I could write a better story than that.” I found myself critiquing the science and logic of every manner of story whether it was the big screen, the small screen or the printed page. Perhaps this is why I still enjoy the old pulps. As they dealt mainly with magic and the super-natural, which is by its very definition, beyond the laws of nature. Thus you have quite a bit more leeway in plot devices.
Being a great fan of all things (zombie and/or apocalyptic) it pains me somewhat to point out that the godfather of zombie movies himself, the legendary George A. Romero, is guilty of relying heavily on the rule of idiots. I found Tom Savini’s re-make of “Night of the Living Dead” to be a vast improvement over the original. Although to give Mr. Romero his due I believe he was more concerned with the underlying political/social message of his stories as opposed to the science. It was my hatred for the near epidemic use of the “Rule of Idiots” that spurred me to write. I’ve always felt that rather than use idiots to move the plot along or provide a challenge for the protagonist, simply provide a smarter/faster/stronger monster/enemy/antagonist.
Whereas I have had the germ of an idea for this story incubating in my mind for a very long time. I have found my attempts at actually writing a better story embarrassingly slow. Who knew that turning an idea into a cognizant, well-structured tale would be so difficult? Certainly not I. I have done considerable research in a number of complex medical, technical and scientific fields as best I could with a layman’s knowledge and near zero funds and believe I have delivered a scientifically plausible story.
|Posted by Doug Jeffreys on December 11, 2011 at 3:45 PM||comments (0)|
I was going to give my 2 cents worth but with inflation it's now a quarter. I am a member of a union because the company that I work for is a closed shop which means I couldn't work for them unless I paid Union dues. In any other venue that's called extortion, but I digress. Decades ago Unions were desperately needed. Many industries took unfair advantage of laborers and the unions helped even the playing field, but like most things developed by man there is no moderation so now the pendulum has swung too far and now the unions have too much power. Unions that represent public employees have given them huge pay increases as well as incredibly luxurious benefits that are funded by my tax dollars and the main reason GMC neede bailed out was due to the outrageuos salaries and benefits of the bastard unions sucking up all the profits, most of which should have been going into research and development to improve their lousy vehicles. I was forced to join PSSU 668 which is a branch of the commie bastard SEIU. My union does exactly squat for me. I went 5 years without a raise and every year I pay more and more for my health insurance while getting less. So I have no sympathy for these whiny cry babies. I hope they are all fired and the union broken. I guarantee the void will be immediately filled by an army of unemployed workers and recent college grads.
|Posted by Doug Jeffreys on December 11, 2011 at 3:30 PM||comments (0)|
I find it a little disconcerting to read a newspaper or watch the nightly news and see the people of Occupy Wall Street and all the “spin-offs” across the country disrupting the everyday comings and goings of honest, hardworking folks like you and me.
As I watched the news the other night they displayed a map of the country with little red dots to indicate each “Occupy” demonstration. Not surprisingly, all the protests were occurring in only the largest cities along the east and west coasts with a scattering throughout the rest of the country such as Chicago, St. Louis, Denver and Houston. Again, no surprises as these are hot spots of liberalism. People that have no concept of personal responsibility or an honest days’ work. My father worked 12 hour days in a steel mill and then worked another 4-6 hours wiring houses, fixing plumbing or repairing cars to provide a safe, loving and prosperous environment for my mother my brothers, my sister and myself. My mother kept a clean house, kept us in clean clothes, cooked nutritious meals and kept us kids on track with home-work and chores. No small task with five kids.
I learned at an early age, you do for yourself. You do not rely on the government for support. That is not what governments do. The government should provide defense, an infrastructure and the freedom to be the best you can be and little else. I grew up and still live in south west Pennsylvania. Folks in this area are very much the same, just like my parents. These folks are my role-models. I’m sure you good people can relate to this as the majority of Americans share this trait of working for what you want, taking responsibility for your own lives and pulling yourselves up by your bootstraps when need be. Being a self-published author has required hard work, self confidence and personal responsibility (http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/85552). I’m not special because I’ve worked jobs I hated so I could pay my bills and provide for my family. I’m sure many of you have been in the same situation and taken whatever job presented itself at the time. You adapt to the changes and hurdles life throws at you. You overcome and you improve your life. That’s what men and women do. That’s what made this country great and that’s what will keep it great.